Our landlord was a Mexican homo who spoke Old World Spanish with a lisp. I swear he smoked fifty a day and Charles said he once caught him masturbating loudly in the downstairs John. I called him Ruby after the ring he wore on his wedding finger. So begins Jackhammer Jumpsuit and Other Stories by Jordan Cruise. A novel which has already inspired one critic to dub the 27 year old former athlete “a Kerouac for Generation Jpeg”. I met up with Jordan after he had just won his second medal…
Gnome: Jordan you’ve just been awarded the Studious Ballentine Medal for the greatest fiction paragraph of 2007...
Jordan: Yeah, that really psyched me out. I got all dizzy on champagne and offended the committee. But fuck, that’s my shit.
Gnome: So it is. But it’s not the first medal you’ve won is it?
Jordan: In a previous not-so-hip life I got thrown a Bronze at the corporate spazz fest they call the Olympics.
Gnome: What sport?
Jordan: Modern pentathlon.
Gnome: Jordan you’ve just been awarded the Studious Ballentine Medal for the greatest fiction paragraph of 2007...
Jordan: Yeah, that really psyched me out. I got all dizzy on champagne and offended the committee. But fuck, that’s my shit.
Gnome: So it is. But it’s not the first medal you’ve won is it?
Jordan: In a previous not-so-hip life I got thrown a Bronze at the corporate spazz fest they call the Olympics.
Gnome: What sport?
Jordan: Modern pentathlon.
2 comments:
Jordan Cruise is totes my favourite 21stC scribe.
He commandeers language like the fuckin baader meinhof; JC DICKS on syntax like a cruise missile aimed at all the libraries in the world.
Wise opinions Bombay... make sure you catch Jordan's dj set at the Planckton & Krill in Crackney this Sunday - some serious fuzz-glam and Italo-disco going down. See you all there!
Archer x
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